Monday, January 7, 2013

A Poop in the Hand...

Just last evening I was responding to another blog post in which a mother was sadly packing up her children's old favorite toys and reflecting on days gone by. I was empathizing in a big way, sobbing as I typed. I'm pretty sure PMS may have been a factor.  


Even though my children are only 1 and 3, I totally have break downs thinking of them growing up too fast. I find this to be especially true when I watch Toy Story 3!! Damn that movie. I feel I can never throw another toy in the garbage even though the truth is, some toys NEED to go there...

In any case, shortly after I experience my dramatic and sentimental moment the 3 year old comes running into the house yelling, "Moooommmyyy, Riley's holding poop - in both hands!!!" Awesome. For a split second I ponder, is a poop in the hand worth two in the bush? Aaaahhh... a sobering dose of reality that reminds me it's not all ponies and rainbows. And it only gets worse... 

I run outside and grab the child and force him to toss the stiff dog poop. I then rush him into the bathroom and decide, "maybe we'll do bath time a little early tonight". As I prepare him for the tub he proceeds to do a little decorating in the form of peeing all over the tile and newly washed bath mat. 

As if on cue, my daughter comes dashing into the bathroom slipping into the pee. The good news is that we're in the bathroom, water is running, and they are both promptly placed in the tub as I place towels over the disaster zone and dream of the additional laundry I get to do tonight. 


It was unfortunate that my hubby chose this moment to "ring me" from his 5-star hotel in Miami. Poor guy, he had to work on a Sunday. Entertaining clients the night before having to take them to the BCS Championship game. He called to let me know he was, "heading out for the night, taking an armored limo to go party in South Beach." WTF? He'll pay for this. Maybe not now, but one day...

To top it all off I simultaneously have cookies baking, possibly burning. One of those things that was supposed to be fun to do with the kids but was basically just a big giant shi* storm. Since the post holiday extra poundage they were supposed to be "healthier" cookies baked with wheat flour. Idiot of an idea.Cookies were bland and dry as hell and now I have to clean that up too. At least the kids thought they were amazing! Probably not a lot of time left to fool them on my baking skills...


But the bright side is, of course, the reminder I was given that perhaps children growing up (slowly!) is not all bad. I might not miss the daily intimate encounters with the peepee and the poopy. But for now, I'll be thankful for my friend... Bacardi. Thanks for being there for me friend, and with zero carbs too. That's real friendship.

 


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