Friday, April 12, 2013

Bad Egg?

I love being a mom, and most of the time I feel like I'm fairly decent at this all-encompassing role that shapes and builds another life from the ground up, no pressure...

However, there are days that I have to question my skills... Such as this particular day in which I found I apparently have zero ability to make acceptable Easter Eggs. Evidence below... 


Not only did we make the eggs 2 weeks AFTER Easter, I failed to read the 3-step instructions correctly. Yes, just 3-steps. I will blame this on the fact that I am busy, working 10-12 hour days and still making my best attempt at motherhood in which sometimes a Better Late than Never policy must apply. 

What went wrong?

While my perfectly boiled eggs underwent the fascinating process of dying, the shells actually started to peel. Who knew the shell could peel? This was my first clue something may have gone wrong. I quickly pulled all floaters and re-read said instructions. Oh yeah, water to dilute the vinegar.... OOPS!

I then proceeded to panic and added way too much water! This solution was not much better.  

We had to wait three-times as long for color absorption.

And even after tripling the dye-time, the color was weak, I could possibly call them pastel. The pink was no longer visible to the human eye and of course this is the daughter's favorite color... I definitely sensed the disappointment and questioned, as mother, am I a bad egg?

Looking at the Bright Side, with 1 and 3 year-olds you can pull off a few of these absolutely ridiculous pinterest fail type activities and they are none-the-wiser. However, I better get my #*$ together soon because I know all too well that sooner or later they will be on to me. A scary thought, and you can't let 'em smell fear!

Friday, April 5, 2013

Welcome to Ponyville

There's something important that we must discuss immediately...
Who is responsible for naming the My Little Ponies
And who the "H" approved said names? 
Seriously. I cannot get passed it. As a former lover of the MLPs, I grew up anti-Barbie and Dolls. I was all MLPs all the time and Friendship really was Magic. But I swear to the Holy one they had normal names back in the day. Names like Applejack. What happened? 
Photo from "imisstheoldschool.com". Me too myfriend!

If you're not familiar with the newly named ponies, let me enlighten you with a few of my faves.
  • Scootaloo: A Pegasus Pony possibly named by someone obsessed with the childhood tune "Skip to My Lou". Which, by the way, I just learned on the 100% true Wikipedia was a popular tune during the Frontier Period and used at "Play Parties". Since dancing was frowned upon, "play parties" consisted of participants clapping to create music and hopping about while swapping partners. Who knew?
  • Pinkie Pie: I couldn't make this up and I'm not even sure where to go on this one but it seems like something an overly-hormonal teenage boy may have conjured... And PS - Her full name, spoken by her mother in The Cutie Mark Chronicles, is Pinkamena Diane Pie. Again, I'm at a loss. 
  • Cheerilee: The person responsible for this brilliant gem of a name may have been a cheerleader back in High School. The "Cheerleader" years may have been the peak of this pony-naming individual's life and therefore that person paid tribute to that time of life. It's all I got.
  • Twilight Sparke: Twilight Sparkle is an Alicorn. I'm sure you're aware but just in case you are not, an Alicorn is a Pegasus Unicorn Princess Pony. Awesome. Twilight Sparkle also sounds as though she may have earned her way into Ponyville on the pole. 
I was briefly saddened at the whack names of the ponies of now. But then I looked at the Bright Side and realized I appreciated the names. They sparked my imagination and gave me confidence that one day I may have an "in" at Hasbro. I'm pretty sure I can do better than those sparkle-gem-apple-crusted-sing-songy-WTF names. For starters, how about these ditties I came up with in under 2 minutes: 
  • Nutters: A bay colored pony with corresponding light-colored Peanuts on the hiney. Cute, right?
  • Honey: A Palomino with tiny honey bees on the butt. This name is inspired by the horse named Honey of my past that attempted to "Stop, Drop, and Roll" while I was still in saddle. Fact.
  • Biscuit: A marmalade shade, this pony bears the stamp of tiny Grandville Biscuits on the booty.
And now, in case you wish for more My Little Pony knowledge or plan to host a MLP Trivia game, much of the info on this post was acquired via this site: http://mlp.wikia.com/wiki/List_of_ponies. I encourage you to visit and warn you that you will be shocked at the level of information available. I question who on the planet Earth had the time to spend to create this website? It is really above and beyond the call of Ponyville Duty - if only someone had spent this amount of energy on the names...