Friday, April 5, 2013

Welcome to Ponyville

There's something important that we must discuss immediately...
Who is responsible for naming the My Little Ponies
And who the "H" approved said names? 
Seriously. I cannot get passed it. As a former lover of the MLPs, I grew up anti-Barbie and Dolls. I was all MLPs all the time and Friendship really was Magic. But I swear to the Holy one they had normal names back in the day. Names like Applejack. What happened? 
Photo from "imisstheoldschool.com". Me too myfriend!

If you're not familiar with the newly named ponies, let me enlighten you with a few of my faves.
  • Scootaloo: A Pegasus Pony possibly named by someone obsessed with the childhood tune "Skip to My Lou". Which, by the way, I just learned on the 100% true Wikipedia was a popular tune during the Frontier Period and used at "Play Parties". Since dancing was frowned upon, "play parties" consisted of participants clapping to create music and hopping about while swapping partners. Who knew?
  • Pinkie Pie: I couldn't make this up and I'm not even sure where to go on this one but it seems like something an overly-hormonal teenage boy may have conjured... And PS - Her full name, spoken by her mother in The Cutie Mark Chronicles, is Pinkamena Diane Pie. Again, I'm at a loss. 
  • Cheerilee: The person responsible for this brilliant gem of a name may have been a cheerleader back in High School. The "Cheerleader" years may have been the peak of this pony-naming individual's life and therefore that person paid tribute to that time of life. It's all I got.
  • Twilight Sparke: Twilight Sparkle is an Alicorn. I'm sure you're aware but just in case you are not, an Alicorn is a Pegasus Unicorn Princess Pony. Awesome. Twilight Sparkle also sounds as though she may have earned her way into Ponyville on the pole. 
I was briefly saddened at the whack names of the ponies of now. But then I looked at the Bright Side and realized I appreciated the names. They sparked my imagination and gave me confidence that one day I may have an "in" at Hasbro. I'm pretty sure I can do better than those sparkle-gem-apple-crusted-sing-songy-WTF names. For starters, how about these ditties I came up with in under 2 minutes: 
  • Nutters: A bay colored pony with corresponding light-colored Peanuts on the hiney. Cute, right?
  • Honey: A Palomino with tiny honey bees on the butt. This name is inspired by the horse named Honey of my past that attempted to "Stop, Drop, and Roll" while I was still in saddle. Fact.
  • Biscuit: A marmalade shade, this pony bears the stamp of tiny Grandville Biscuits on the booty.
And now, in case you wish for more My Little Pony knowledge or plan to host a MLP Trivia game, much of the info on this post was acquired via this site: http://mlp.wikia.com/wiki/List_of_ponies. I encourage you to visit and warn you that you will be shocked at the level of information available. I question who on the planet Earth had the time to spend to create this website? It is really above and beyond the call of Ponyville Duty - if only someone had spent this amount of energy on the names...

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