Thursday, November 1, 2012

Top 10 Reasons for Halloween Duds

You've seen them. You know the houses I speak of. The neighbors that are mysteriously absent each year on Halloween. No lights, no festive decor, and most certainly no candy!

I remember these houses when I was a kid on a candy hunt and now taking my own children trick-or-treating I see the Halloween duds are still in effect. Since the majority of my friends and neighbors blow it out on Halloween, I was trying to conjure up some ideas as to why some people choose to be rotten pumpkins on Halloween.... Feel free to add your own ideas.

10. Lack of will-power. They cannot come within 100 feet of candy or binging takes place.

9. They spent all their candy money on crack. It happens.

8. Laziness. Some people simply cannot be bothered to buy the candy and then spend an entire hour or two passing it out to kids whose parents spent either way too much time, money or both on costumes.

7. They hate tiny humans.

6. Perhaps they have a bumb hip or knee and cannot get up and down frequenty to answer the door.

5. They have had really bad dental experiences and an abundance of cavities and can no longer support sugar-intake of any kind.

4. Full-Time Dud. Some people are just cranky, no-fun, duds in all aspects of their life. Halloween is just one more opportunity to be a stick-in-the-mud.

3.  The home owner is an actual witch and offened by a holiday that makes a mockery of the black magic.

2. Bad childhood experience. Maybe a super lame Halloween costume that lead to teasing. (Mom, that one is for you. Do you remember the owl made out of cardboard and a gunny-sack? Thankfully I'm not scarred.)

1. Fear. I must admit that every year on Halloween I get a little freaked out as I feel it is the perfect time to murder someone. Everyone is in costume and quite frankly they could lay your dead corpse on the front lawn and people would just assume it was a really great score from a Halloween store.

But the bright side to having Halloween Duds in the neighborhood is that they make my minimal effort consisting of a few strings of lights, some pumpkins, and of course the candy look great! Thanks Duds and Happy Halloween.

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