Friday, March 8, 2013

"Wish in One Hand....

....Shi* in the other. See which one fills up first!"

In my experience it has never been the hand holding the "wish." Ahh, one of my father's favorite smart-ass responses. And I have to admit it's a pretty good one, one that I found myself pondering  late last night as I sat up watching trash TV and "wishing..."

In this case I was wishing I had the money of the "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" so I too could be traversing Paris with friends and sipping the bubbly. Versus facing my actual reality which consisted of dealing with week 6 of the Puke-Fest of 2013, a sink full of dirty dishes, an over-flowing laundry basket, and an inbox full of unanswered emails, i.e. work.

But as I always try to find the Bright Side (wine helps) this case was no different. Instead of being angry I attempted to explore all the reasons why my life is oh so much better than the "RHOBHs..."

1) As a RHOBH you are apparently expected to sport 4-5" heels at all times. While I love a fabulous heel as much as the next girl, I'm not sure I could pull that off for miles of shopping the strip. I feel fairly confident I would be quickly escorted out of the club if I arrived wearing a "Stride-Rite". Ok, even I wouldn't do that but you get the point...
Photo via:

2) Even while enjoying the amazing view of Paris from the Eiffel Tower with a glass of amazing Champagne, you will still be faced with drama. During this particular episode two wives rehashed a ridiculous misunderstanding that had happened months ago. Really? Is this necessary NOW? In Paris? At the Eiffel Tower? Really?

3) Pressure to spend. I cannot help my frugal nature and I have a feeling even if I were rolling with some serious bank, I'd still be practical. Practical doesn't exist with these so-called "Real" housewives. I recall an episode in which Taylor spent over $50,000 on her daughter's birthday party. And her daughter didn't even like it!!! My daughter will be turning 4 soon and all I can say is, Wow! I sure am lucky that I don't have to spend $50 large on a party! 

4) You cannot over-consume alcoholic beverages in peace. It would seem every time one of the so-called ladies goes a little overboard there's an intervention, a twitter-outbreak, and suddenly everything you do is scrutinized. Don't get me wrong, I can't understand what Kim is saying either, but hey, we all have our moments. 

Sooo... I'll take my dirty dishes and puking children and rock on in my Stride-Rites. They can keep Paris! Was any of this convincing at all?

1 comment:

  1. You forgot to include in the shot Brandi Glan(d?)ville (aka HO-ville). And in turn, forgot to include #5 reason your life is better than HOBH--because you aren't skanky, classless hussy like Brandi Glanville.

    Oh and #6--- You are pretty enough naturally and don't have to get plastic surgery so you look like a barbie doll with lips that looks like they have been chewed on by a barracuda.

    God, so many other reasons to include here. However, I LOVE that show and can't take my eyes off it. It's like a car crash.